Back home.

I think I hate myself today. Perhaps even some other days before as well. Finding myself getting emotional al over again. Maybe I've to learn to be a little more confidant. Maybe I need a little more affection.

My heart's tormenting me. Having to breathe harder than before to know that my heart's still beating, at some point not to stop. Difficulty handling emotions. Eyes welling up with burning, hot tears. Those tears I've been controlling, wouldn't want to let them fall. It's hard, but I don't want to see myself in such misery yet again. I feel so vulnerable.

I promised you I won't keep ranting on about what's passe, but you're making me tell you everything on my mind. Such contradiction. So confusing. I'll stare right at you. Or I'll look away. But that doesn't mean I'm ignoring you. It's avoidance to not hurt myself once more.

Valentine's day is down two. Spending an amount of moolahs on gifts for friends nd him. Hunn says he never celebrated valentine's with any girls previously, but I'm doubtful. Even so, I would like to make this it a special one for him, such that it'll be th sweetest. If everything works out that is.

Somehow. Th truth will always hurt. I'm frustrated nd depressed.

But like, who's going to even bother ? Fuck it, Natalie. Get over it.